| Dealing with conflict during change | | | | Building rapport with others is like joining in their version |
| When dealing with colleagues or anyone else who | | | | of the world. It creates openness and makes it easier |
| may be coming from a different perspective to us, | | | | for us to communicate with them and for them to |
| there is always potential for conflict. Clashes of | | | | communicate with us. |
| personality, styles, and expectations can lead to | | | | As body language is such an important part of |
| anything from innocent misunderstandings to | | | | communication, a very effective technique in building |
| inappropriate behaviour and open hostility. | | | | rapport is 'mirroring'. If you don't seem to be 'clicking' |
| In a context of organisational change, with staff having | | | | with somebody, try matching their body position: |
| to adopt a new working style or job-role and possibly | | | | posture, orientation, weight distribution; their speech: |
| fearing the 'sack', general ill-feeling can more easily turn | | | | words and language style, tone and tempo; and their |
| into full-blown, department-wide conflict. | | | | gestures: expansive arm gestures or hands in pockets. |
| Yet in many situations, this scenario could have been | | | | You'll know you're on the right track with someone |
| avoided if individual members of staff had invested a | | | | when they start to follow you! |
| bit of time in building good relationships with each other | | | | This takes practice of course and you don't want to |
| as a kind of 'pre-emptive strategy'. | | | | make it too obvious - or people may take offence at |
| As a starting point, remember that good effective | | | | you mimicking them! Done in a genuine way, you can't |
| communication doesn't just mean 'getting your point | | | | help but empathise with the person you are trying so |
| across'! If you want someone to consider your point of | | | | hard to connect with. |
| view, try taking what we call 'the third position'. To | | | | Also consider broadening the picture. In today's |
| enable you to do this, take it one step at a time: The | | | | multi-tasking society, each of us juggles a multitude of |
| first position: YOU - your own view. People often | | | | roles (parent, child, co-worker, partner, part-time |
| make the mistake of getting locked into this when | | | | student, ...) that all contribute to making us who we are. |
| under pressure or trying to influence. The second | | | | Yet a lot of people we encounter along our day only |
| position: THE OTHER PERSON - genuinely try to put | | | | ever get to know us in one, maybe two of those roles. |
| yourself in their position. The third position: THE | | | | That makes it a lot easier to pigeon-hole someone and |
| OVERVIEW - be a fly on the wall, objective and | | | | make assumptions about them, rendering true |
| unemotional. | | | | communication difficult. |
| Only when you get to the third position, without the | | | | So make a conscious effort to share more facets of |
| bias you began with, will you be able to agree a way | | | | yourself with people at work, and show an interest in |
| forward and avoid a potential conflict. As an added | | | | their 'life outside work'. It's no surprise successful |
| bonus, people should be more ready to listen to you | | | | companies invest a lot of energy and effort in |
| next time round, given that you respected their point of | | | | organising social events for their staff - it pays off in |
| view. | | | | better cohesion back at work and less conflict! |